Monday, December 24, 2012

Simon Claus has come to town! (wait...Santa Bloom? No, that's not right, either...) Okay, Simon Bloom Book 3. Ho ho ho. Got it?


'Twas the holiday season
and all 'cross the Earth,
people were readin'
and filling with mirth.

'Cause Simon Bloom 3
was finally here,
in book-types called "e"
to bring all good cheer!

And that, oh readers, is why a good Narrator should never write in rhyming stanzas. Or at least this Narrator. But I am rather too excited to restrain myself. You see, it is holiday time here in the United States. I've been sitting -- bathrobe-clad and tea-sipping -- watching the rest of the people of the world go about their exciting lives while I waited, waited, waited for my 3rd Chronicle of the adventures of Simon Bloom to be available for others to read.

Now it has. Finally. Michael Reisman, about whom I am currently chronicling (while waiting for someone more interesting to come along), has at last put it out into the world for those who want to read my glorious Narrating. It is, as that splendid cover above indicates, called Simon Bloom: The Order of Chaos, and it is ready for you - yes, YOU - to purchase!

You can get it via Amazon:

or via Barnes and Noble:

 or you could simply click through Michael's website,

As you no doubt know, the Amazon ebook is readable on Kindle devices and the Barnes and Noble version is readable on Nook devices...but perhaps you're wondering, what if I don't have a Kindle or Nook?

Well, you can download a free Kindle reader program or Nook reader program for your PC or Mac, OR you can download the free Kindle or Nook app for your iPad, iPhone, Android phone, or Android tablet. ALSO, the Barnes and Noble version is readable on any other device that can read epub-format ebooks.

Since Simon Bloom 3 is coming out in the midst of the holiday season, that Reisman fellow has chosen to ask only $3.99 for it, though he will probably raise the price somewhat at some point early in the new year...

I suppose, since I'm chronicling Michael Reisman, I should include a direct message from him:

"Thank you SO much for reading and for being SO patient for Book 3! But I Do have a favor to ask of you, oh loyal Simon Bloom readers. If you Do read Order of Chaos and you Do like it, please, Please, PLEASE tell your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your librarians, passing space aliens...basically, anyone you think might like Simon Bloom.
Please review it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, or anywhere else you think it will help, and please blog about it (if you blog). In short, please do whatever you can to help me spread the word about Simon Bloom's adventures!
(But, of course, if you DON'T like the Order of Chaos, then I'm perfectly content for you not to review it, heh heh...)"

My, what a cheeky fellow, but I must agree with this Reisman man (or, for short, let's call him ReisMan): any word of mouth that can alert others to this Chronicle would be much appreciated by me as well!

Michael made the ebook non-DRM so it would be more available for all, including -- he hopes -- for librarians to be able to carry the book. But he (and I) implore you to Please not make illegal copies/ post the book online. I think everyone should get to enjoy Simon Bloom's escapades but I (and ReisMan, I suppose) worked very hard on it, and the sales from it are the only way he gets paid. 

(There are no plans for a print or audiobook version in the near future, but I will personally let you know if that changes. That's what good Narrators are for, after all!)

I am, as you've no doubt noticed, the most modest Narrator around, but I do believe this is the finest of the Simon Bloom Chronicles. And, not to reveal too much, but I think you'll be pleased by my role in the tale. Yes, Narrating is an amazing enough adventure in of itself, but - in the grand tradition of Arthur Dent himself - me and my bathrobe get to have some excitement, too.

What do I mean? Well, what sort of Narrator would I be to insert spoilers? Go on, go read the book and see for yourself. 

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a Bloom night!!!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Coming soon, Soon, SOON! (Yes, Book 3.)

This is your Narrator here, and I'm as pleased as one can be while wearing a bathrobe in the summertime. I've been watching Michael Reisman for some time now and, quite frankly, I was getting rather frustrated waiting for a certain thing that starts with the letter 's' and rhymes with teaful (which isn't technically a word but, as all tea-drinkers would agree, should be)(let's be honest, how many words out there Really rhyme with sequel?)(I suppose Flangelo would suggest 'beakful', but for those not of the avian persuasion, teaful will have to do).

I'm happy to say that progress has been made: the  release of the 3rd Chronicle of Simon Bloom and his friends is now in sight! There is still much for that ol' Reisman fellow to do (including various adjustments, inputs, reformatting, and a fair amount of napping...he's quite good at that last one). Nevertheless, all major obstacles and issues have now been cleared up. It is officially, as someone less proper than me might say, 'gonna happen'!

I can't give you a date Yet, but I can tell you it will be released as an e-book. Michael hopes it will be within the next month or so, though he cannot be sure. To give you something, however, here is what the e-book's cover will look like:

As your Narrator, I feel I must apologize for your having to wait. There are still some potential (minor) delays, so he and I both hope you can be a bit more patient. I can assure you, however, that the book will be available - as the title of this post implies - as soon as possible.

More information will be posted as it is known. (And, if you'd like, please spread the word!)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Better Late Than...Okay, Fine, Late is Bad.

Greetings from the long-absent Narrator...yes, I'm afraid I've been remiss in my Narrating duties for quite some time. I mostly blame Michael Reisman. He's not been terribly interesting, lately. Oh, sure, he's done school and library visits, and gone to conferences, and done a lot of work, and eaten, and fed his tropical fish (he now has several), and a lot of other mundane activities. But honestly, has he really shaken the universe of late? Not in my book. (no pun intended...)

Well. Perhaps that will change soon. As you presumably know, I also chronicle the life of Simon Bloom (who has a lot more universe-shaking under his belt than ol' Reisman). And, as you also presumably know, only two of Simon Bloom's chronicles have been available for public reading. The third one, entitled The Order of Chaos, has been in a Limbo of sorts.

In fact, that very same Michael Reisman made a video about it over a year ago. Perhaps you've seen it:

The video's not terribly exciting, I'm afraid, though that octopus is certainly photogenic. 

Since that video (and before it, of course), there has been quite a lot of waiting on this Reisman fellow's part, which of course meant a lot of waiting on my part. (A lot of tea, pizza, and those little goldfish crackers were consumed.) I have also watched Michael work on other books, as well as some movie and television material, but I have nothing exciting to report on that right now. At least not yet. (The goldfish crackers, however, were cheddar flavored...and delicious!)

Michael is certainly sorry for the delay, but he does expect to have an update on when you...yes, You...can get your eyes on my 3rd Simon Bloom chronicle (which, I might add, is considerably more exciting than this mini-chronicle about Michael)(I promise!).

Please be patient...Michael hopes to know more in the next month or two. In the meanwhile,might I suggest that you engage in some of his favorite pastimes, such as reading, napping, and juggling. But not all at once! (Trust me, that would not go well.)

Thank you for stopping by, and do check in soon for updates...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Blog of Comic-Con Past...

Hello, it's the Narrator again, watching - with no small amount of amusement - as Michael Reisman slowly gets ready to head south to San Diego for the 2009 Comic-Con. (As in Comic book convention. Rather obvious, I think.)

This is Michael's 2nd journey for the convention in 2 years. Last year's was rather interesting - especially from a Narratorial standpoint - but I was too busy Chronicling Simon Bloom to tell you about it. Here's a few quick looks:

The bathrooms were for humans only, giving these characters a bit of a dilemma.

Fortunately, there were all sorts of heroes around in case there was trouble.

Michael Reisman met all sorts of amazing people, too. True, he was briefly kidnapped by COBRA (where's GI Joe when you need 'em?)...

...but he also hung out with exciting folks like Alex Winter (director of the BEN 10 live action movies (and Bill from BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE); Peter Hannan (creator of CATDOG and writer of the SUPER GOOFBALLS books); James Owen (author of HERE THERE BE DRAGONS and its sequels - the latest is THE INDIGO KING); fellow LAYA (um, that's Los Angeles Young Adult writer ) Dan Santat (creator of THE REPLACEMENTS, illustrator/ author of Many great picture and chapter books); and last but not least, Michael Carroll (writer of the awesome QUANTUM PROPHECY books).

By the way, Michael's favorite costumes may have been these: Triana and the Monarch from VENTURE BROS (on Adult Swim)...

Overall, he had a great time and is looking forward to this year's...if he ever gets going.

In fact, he's going to be on a panel with some great authors on Friday, 7-24-09 at 12:30 - click here for details ( and he's also going to be doing a signing on Sunday at 12pm!

If you're at Comic-con, stop by and say hello to him...

And don't worry - I'll do my best to Chronicle Michael's further adventures at Comic-Con this
year (and I'll try rather hard not to wait so long for it!).

Monday, June 8, 2009

Another Blog? So soon? I Must Be Joking!

Ah, but I'm not joking - we Narrators take our work very seriously. Perhaps I feel bad that I've been on hiatus for so long, or perhaps I have some pearls of wisdom or glorious comments to share with the world. it turns out, I'm posting a link to a great video of a shark fighting an octopus to show you all! (No, no, not the one with Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson...I feel that one speaks for itself.)

I'm talking about a real shark fighting a real octopus that I found on the National Geographic website. (Narrators like to web-surf, you know.)

I'm certain you can guess who I'm rooting for...go octopus!

Get Busy Blogging, or Get Busy...Not Blogging.

Hmm.  You'd think I'd have come up with a snappier title for my first blog post in over a year. Think again.  Yes, it's me, your long-lost Narrator, back to tell you a bit more about Michael Reisman, Simon Bloom, and whatever else comes to mind.  

Where have I been?  Narrating, of course.  I have mentioned the adventures of Simon Bloom in THE OCTOPUS EFFECT, haven't I?  It's coming out soon...oh, so very soon...on Thursday, June 11.  

Here's what the cover looks like: 

(I've also Narrated a third Chronicle of Simon Bloom and his friends.  Michael Reisman, the so-called author of the book version of Simon's adventures, is doing more of that revising stuff he does to my historical records.  The new Chronicle, by the way, is tentatively titled SIMON BLOOM: THE ORDER OF CHAOS, and it should be ready for you...yes, read in 2010.)  

Did I mention that SIMON BLOOM, THE GRAVITY KEEPER has a spiffy new cover?  No?  My goodness, I am not up to my Narrating best.  Perhaps it's because of how bothersome it can get watching Michael Reisman's daily activities.  Zzzzzz.  Well, here's what GRAVITY KEEPER looks like now:

Pretty amazing, isn't it?  Yes, it's a fitting nod to my wondrous Narrating.  And, I suppose, a nodto the effort that Michael Reisman and the great people at Penguin and Walden Media have put forth.  (But mostly it's my Narrating.  Hurrah for me!)

In the meanwhile, Michael Reisman has been up to many, many things (that, to be honest, aren't nearly as interesting as my life):  

Juggling in book stores like Mrs. Nelson's Toys and Books...

        ...making new and interesting friends...

...and glowing with a weird light.  (Er, I have no idea how he managed that.  Perhaps Simon Bloom knows...)

That's all for now - I shall try to be a more attentive blog-Narrator with more exciting photos, dazzling mini-videos, and tips on how to accessorize with your bathrobe.

Ok, maybe not all of that.  Or any of it.  We shall see.  But thank you for stopping by!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Blog Must Go On...

Yes, I have returned to my Chronicling duties (here I am, looking very Narratorial). I'd just as soon not, frankly...watching this Michael fellow's antics is rather exhausting, but I suppose it's better than just sleeping all the time. Narrowly. So, where have I been, you might be wondering? I was Chronicling the activities of Simon Bloom, of course! That adventure will be available for you to read in February 2009, under the title SIMON BLOOM: THE OCTOPUS EFFECT. Even now, this Reisman fellow is daring to carve up my glorious words in what he calls 'revisions'. Fortunately, he's getting some guidance from his publisher, whose wisdom will hopefully keep him from making too much of a mess of my work.

While I was watching Simon Bloom, Michael Reisman was making a fool of himself on behalf of my first Chronicle - SIMON BLOOM, THE GRAVITY KEEPER. Here he is, hiding behind the book cover.

I'll write more about Michael and the book later, describing how he wandered off to New Jersey and New York, as well as a few places in Los Angeles, to pretend that it was he - and not me - who truly told Simon Bloom's story. But I know the truth, and so do you, oh faithful Chronicle reader...stay tuned for more info...

In the meanwhile, I'll give you a tiny glimpse of what I have to put up with. Here's a brief video look at Michael Reisman on February 14, 2008 -- the day SIMON BLOOM, THE GRAVITY KEEPER went on sale in stores/ on-line. If you like giant robots, flying cars, mutant banana peels and fire-breathing bunnies, then you will surely notice that this video does not have any of that in it. But Michael does have a drawing of a giant robot on his t-shirt. Quite amazing. Really. Cough, cough.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

What A Fool This Author Be...

This is your Narrator, back for another episode of author Michael Reisman's life. This time, our subject has posted a YouTube video of a Physics demonstration I conducted with him.

You can observe his, ahem, grace and skill here:

I wish I could tell you no apples were harmed during the filming of that video. But I cannot.

Observing Michael Reisman's life has its share of interesting moments. Why, just last Thursday he met with an excellent Penguin books publicist and a number of charming Southern California booksellers from Vroman's, Mrs. Nelson's, Mook & Blanchard, and First Page. They had a delightful lunch and wonderful conversation...until Michael decided to ask them about the weirdest things they'd ever eaten. He asked this during the salad course. Oh, Michael...not the brightest bolt of lightning in the storm, is he?

The booksellers were tolerant of this, somehow restraining themselves from clubbing Michael silly with the copies of SIMON BLOOM, THE GRAVITY KEEPER laying around. Conveniently enough, the weirdest-food winner might well have been the people who tried the restaurant's bleu cheese ice cream.

Yes, that's right, bleu cheese ice cream. Michael tasted some and declared that, in his mind, bleu cheese is better suited for buffalo wings than for ice cream. (He and I are in agreement, there.) I wish Michael had thought to bring a camera to the event so there could be action photos of the lunch, the booksellers, and the bleu cheese. But he didn't, so there aren't. (Re-read the title of this blog-post for the explanation.)

The only other news in Michael's thrill-a-decade life is that he's gotten two excellent reviews for his upcoming book. Of course, the accolades really belong to me -- after all, it's My Chronicle. He only had it published. But he's reprinted the reviews from Kirkus Reviews and Publisher's Weekly on his website here:

It's fairly amusing to watch him as he reacts to these reviews. Let's just say it involves him dancing around rather foolishly in his apartment. His fish, I might add, turn away in shame when he does this. I only wish I could but, as Narrator, I must bear witness.

That's all for now. But as far as ridiculous dances-of-joy go, SIMON BLOOM, THE GRAVITY KEEPER is being officially released next Thursday, February 14th, so you can bet Michael will be, as they say, shaking his booty. And I will be, as they say, utterly miserable as I watch.

Stay tuned.